How can you miss someone you've never known? How can you leave behind someone you've never met? How can you feel at home in a place you can't be sure exists? How can you teach someone algebra without chasing their ghosts away? When do you stop believing someone is just like you and start believing they are just copying you?
I fell in love with a hope, but that hope was in a human. My hope was not that they would save me. My hope was not that they would fix any of my broken parts. My hope was not that she would turn my life into a paradise. My hope was not that she would change for me. My hope was not that I would fix her life. My hope was not to be her world. My hope was only to look in her eyes and watch her lips form words I have already heard. For reasons I'm not privileged to know she has covered her eyes and muzzled her own mouth.
Never once in my life have I been desperate. Never Have I known this pain. I've fallen in love with a ghost. It's funny and sad, for I have fallen in love with a mirror reflection of myself.
It was satan's last cut. He handed out swords to all I cared about, but I had hoped so much she would have laid her's down. It's depressing- I've been cut so many times that the pain no longer slows me down. I move forward with the pain and the sorrow filed deep with in my map makers satchel.
The storm grows stronger everyday. Satan's hand presses down hard on me, but I refuse to give up. My eyes burn blue and the angel stands at my side, finally proud of me. I will not give up this feeling as easily as my enemies may assume. I can finally hold my head up as I fight this storm that never seems to abide. I say thank you to those who have turned their swords on me. I say thank you to those who have let satan turn them into puppets. For each time you do so Jehovah counteracts your wickedness with increased provisions of strength and clarity. Do not be so foolish as to assume what you have wickedly sown will reap sunshine.
My sword glows bright with honor and light. My shield defends those I love. My shoulder carries the weak. My leg muscles flex with external strength. I once thought I stood alone in this uniquely strong storm, but as the storm grows stronger I see more and more loving souls defying my storm with me. We may be few, but we are different than the rest. We are one of the most rag tag misfit looking groups you have ever seen, but together we are unstoppable. We wear mickey mouse ears, we wear candy stripped shorty shorts, we have poofy hair, we drive the cars of the dead, we ride on skate boards, and we all laugh like idiots, and I love you all for standing in the darkness with me.
Our fight is near it's end. I will not give up, nor give up on any of you, so close to the end. We are the defyants. We are the group within the group. he is afraid of us, for we defy the odds. This is a warning to you all- we are each others defenders, and you will not see us coming.
What's the difference between San Diego and Portland, between New York and Boston? I keep chasing the rising sun forgetting that if I just wait for it to set it will eventually rise right in front of me.
What's the difference between being raised on a boat and being raised in the desert? What's the difference between 24 and 34?
I thought I was the addition of a hundred different parts, but instead I am the result of an algebraic equation.
You gave me auguastana in exchange for black marketing my heart.
You passed me up before you knew who me was. I found my place. I feel for those having passed up the oyster despite the pearl.
Why can't you just forget about algebra? It's all about you now. And all your talk of logic and formula could never help you now. Not anymore. Cause you were always on the run from the darkness in your heart. So you wear it on the outside of your chest. I have taken the liberty To tell your ghost to go. Bribing them with Sunlight and Sympathy. They promised not to show for a while. Cause you were always the little boy who couldn't keep it to yourself. So your heart Is on the outside of your chest. At the speed of light you moved inside my home. Nothing is alright If you are still alone, and your heart is greater than the sum of you and everyone. But still you're always on the run from the poison in your lungs. And your heart is on the outside of your chest.
